he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
