You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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