i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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