thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
