we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
