i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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