It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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