We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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