definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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