this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
