i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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