Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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