dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
