i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
