I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize