i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
