"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
