Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize