As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
