Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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