it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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