Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
