I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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