why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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