I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
