You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
