you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
