Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
