i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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