I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize