let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
