My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
