Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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