He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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