My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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