his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think people are normalizing furries
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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