I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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