I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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