you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
