So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
