Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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