YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize