If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he fucked my hip out of place.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
