Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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