Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The air taste purple.
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