I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
