The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
