Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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