The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The best revenge is premature balding
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
