So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
