Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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