Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
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I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
that may or may not have been my penis.
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