I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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