how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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