Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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