i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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