It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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