god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
