it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
