ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
