Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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