Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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