guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
